Dec 16, 2020 | Uncategorized
I’ve always considered myself a realist. A truth teller.
And I never understood the people who only focused on the positive. It seemed fake. I was certain they were suffering just as much as I was on the inside, and they were only pretending to be happy.
Then I started studying life coaching and learned that what we say and think, about life and about ourselves, matters. Our thoughts determine how we experience our time on this earth. So basically, if we think something sucks, it for sure is going to suck. But if we choose to believe something is awesome, it will be awesome.
Sounds simple enough. And then 2020 happened. Suddenly I was running a business and helping my kids with virtual learning – and guys, it was freaking hard.
My coach told me to look for the good. To just focus on the positive and trick my brain into believing something new. And the more she told me that, the more I felt like punching her in the face. It felt so fake to slap on a smile and pretend everything was hunky-dory when I was struggling just to get through the day.
I dug my heels in and held tight to my belief that 2020 sucked. So of course, it did suck. For a long while.
And then I hired a new coach and she taught me that it was ok to embrace the suck. I welcomed and processed the anger, frustration, sadness, anxiety, and resentment. I allowed this to be my truth.
But here’s the secret that changed my life: you can look for the positive without dismissing the negative. Things can suck AND be good – at the same time.
I learned to own my struggle instead of fighting against it. And I also learned to simultaneously (and consciously) pay attention to all of the good in this world.
Then legit magic happened. I naturally let go of the suck and started noticing positive things. Without forcing it, I had become a positive person.
A few weeks ago, I was journaling and this thought came to me: “This year has been a triumph.” Mind. Blown. I had turned my negative “realist” attitude into positivity, without slapping on a fake smile or pretending.
If you want to learn how to also become a genuinely positive person (without faking it), let’s hop on call. If I can do it, I know you can too.
Book your free call here: https://schedulelindsayshortcoaching.as.me/call
Jun 25, 2020 | Uncategorized
You’ve done everything you were “supposed” to do in life. You’ve got the house, the spouse, the kids, the job. Life is good, but deep down you want MORE. And you feel selfish and ungrateful for even thinking it.
But let me tell you mama, just because life is good, doesn’t mean it can’t be better. Just because you’re lucky enough to stay home with your kids or have good job, doesn’t mean you’re meant to do it. Just because you’ve worked so hard to get where you are, doesn’t mean you have to stay here.
If you know you’re meant for more, here are two things you need to know:
1. It’s okay to want more out of life. Your dreams and desires matter. They are your soul’s way of nudging you toward the life you were meant to live. A life where you feel most alive.
2. The “more” you secretly yearn for IS possible. Look, I know stepping outside of your comfort zone is scary. But it’s okay to color outside the lines. It’s okay to make a dramatic leap, even if it doesn’t make sense. You wouldn’t have the dreams you have if they weren’t possible for you.
Whatever your more is, I want you to give yourself permission to want it AND permission to go after it. Go out and pursue your true purpose, even if it’s the risky or unpopular choice. Your goals and your dreams are worth pursuing. Listen to the pull. The life you were meant to live is on the other side.
May 13, 2020 | Uncategorized
We Can’t Do Anything Right Now
Right now, one of the most frustrating problems a lot of us are still facing is a lot of “cant’s”. We can’t go on vacation. We can’t play at the park or send our kids off to a friend’s house to play. We are stuck at home and it sucks. But here is one thing I know: focusing on all the things we can’t do feels pretty crappy. That’s why I’ve created a simple 2-step process to help flip you out of the sucky land of can’t.
The First Step of the Process
Here’s what I want you to do: every time you notice yourself complaining that you can’t do something, immediately ask yourself “what can I do?” In a matter of seconds, you will shift into problem solving mode. Our brains are incredible at solving problems – you just have to direct them with the right questions.
What’s brilliant about this method is that it forces you to get creative, and that is often when you create the best memories. Our family loves to go out to restaurants and obviously can’t do that right now. But we did have a family picnic that was so much fun. We can’t go on vacation, but we did sleep in a fort in the family room and made s’mores in the backyard. We created a memory that will stay with us forever.
Taking it to the Next Level
Here’s the catch. There are certain events that just can’t be replaced with a “can do” attitude. For example, we can’t visit family right now and Zoom calls just aren’t the same. So how do we switch to a positive attitude when the alternative solutions aren’t that great? Enter the second step of the process.
Last week, I did a live training in my Facebook group, Moms Who Want More, and shared exactly what to do in this situation. Come join the group to learn how to create a positive mindset in a crappy situation, every time.
Catch the training replay here: https://www.facebook.com/lindsayshortcoaching/videos/651719092042336/
May 2, 2020 | Uncategorized
The Energy Suck of Overwhelm
Back in my days as a stay-at-home mom, I remember being perplexed by the constant feeling of being incredibly busy and bored at the same time. I could have easily filled my days down the minute with non-stop tasks. But the truth is: I spent more time than I’d like to admit thinking about everything I wasn’t doing (instead of actually getting it all done).
The notion that I spent my days lounging and eating bon bons was insulting. I was incredibly busy….but was I? I realize now that once I was out of the fog of the baby days, I only felt really busy because my mind was busy. The amount of mental energy it took to be constantly spinning in guilt and overwhelm was enormous. No amount of sleep could have gotten me over my constant state of exhaustion.
The Wrong Answer
Back then, I thought the answer was managing my time better. I would print off pretty schedules from Pinterest, thinking tomorrow would be the day I would finally get my shit together. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. I’m pretty sure I never made it to day 2 of any of the schedules – which of course sent me back into a spiral of guilt. Why couldn’t I execute a fully planned day like Miss Suzie Sunshine, full of homemade snacks, educational activities, crafts, play dates and coordinated outfits?
If only I knew then what I know now, I could have saved myself a lot of heartache. Creating more time in the day (and having the energy and motivation to make the most of it) always begins with managing the mind. The best schedule in the world will never help you get it together if your mind is a mess.
Life is Too Short to Feel Like Crap
Now when guilt and overwhelm start to creep in, I have concrete tools that flip me into a better state of mind every time – and I can show you how too. Imagine how freeing it would feel to not spend hours a day feeling guilty and overwhelmed. Imagine how much lighter and energetic you would feel if you weren’t constantly beating yourself up for not doing enough. Not being enough.
Motherhood doesn’t have to be a sea of guilt and overwhelm. Spending each day exhausted and bored doesn’t have to be the norm. Let this be the moment you decide that life is too precious to waste another second feeling like a failure. Email me here if you’re ready to get started: lindsay@lindsayshortcoaching.com.
Apr 10, 2020 | Uncategorized
The Fear of COVID-19
A couple of weeks ago I got sick. The can’t-get-out-of-bed, don’t-feel-human anymore kind of sick. After more than a week of lying semi-conscious in a bed of my own snot, my breathing took a turn for the worse.
Suddenly the mucous pouring down the back of my throat felt like cement, slowly closing in on my windpipe. Each breath felt like I was breathing in fire. Just a few steps to the bathroom was like sprinting a 100m.
And of course, my brain freaked out, convinced I had COVID-19. I was completely terrified of having a ventilator shoved down my throat. Panicked at the thought of leaving my children without a mother.
Making Friends with Fear
On the night of the worst of it, I spent hours huddled on the floor shaking in fear. But then something shifted in me. Somehow the words of my mentor snuck through the panic, telling me to make friends with my fear. And so, I did.
Instead of wishing I wasn’t filled with anxiety and fear, I leaned into it. Of course I was afraid. Fear is a natural human response when faced with potential danger. I kept repeating this thought: “I am scared and that’s ok.” In this time of immense fear, I was able to create self-compassion by allowing myself to feel exactly what I was I feeling.
Fear is Not a Problem
Now that I’m feeling much better, I can look back on the experience through the lens of a life coach. Here is what I learned: fear is not a problem. We can do fear AND we can find peace. We are all facing a potential danger right now. Our lives have been uprooted. It’s ok to be scared or angry or panicked. However you are feeling today is ok. It’s not a problem. Lean into it. Find compassion for yourself. Tell yourself, “I am feeling _____ and that’s ok.”
Right now, it’s natural to wish things were different. To focus on the negative. To fear the unknown. But your brain will stay stuck in this place of fear and negativity if you let it. If you feel like you just can’t dig yourself out of the negativity, I can help. Book a complimentary mini session where I will walk you through the exact process I used to create calm and acceptance during times of fear.
Book your complimentary session here >>> https://schedulelindsayshortcoaching.as.me/minisession
Mar 20, 2020 | Uncategorized
Yesterday I lost my shit. I let the quarantine get to me. I was trying to make a phone call and my kids would not stop fighting. I could have helped them work through their fight. I could have paused to breathe before overreacting. Instead, I just screamed and stomped my feet. I yelled so loudly that my throat burned with shame for hours after.
A SHAME SPIRAL
My
youngest immediately crumpled into a pile of tears because mommy doesn’t
usually act like a 3-year-old melting down after a sugar-filled birthday party.
Seeing the fear in his face broke my heart. Even though we had a nice family
talk after about stress and frustration during these times of transition, I didn’t
release the shame and guilt.
I’m a life coach and stress management expert. I know better. I rode my shame spiral through a sea of wine and enough nachos to feed a family of five. I could feel my brain wanting to go into panic by entering the land of what ifs. What if I can’t get it together? What if I spend the rest of quarantine as a rage-filled nacho eating monster? What if I’m a terrible mom? What if I lose my mind?
FINDING CALM AMDIST THE CHAOS
The old me would have believed these stories. She would have stayed in victim mode, spewing complaints laced with sarcasm about the woes of homeschooling and trying to run a business from home. But this time something magical happened. The new me (who knows how to manage my mind) somehow broke through the mounds of shame and guilt and was able to analyze the situation from a calm, neutral space.
So
I lost my shit – who cares? I am human. This tantrum doesn’t have to mean
anything about the rest of our time at home. Instead of looking at it as foreshadowing
of what’s to come, I was able to see it as a signal that it’s time for me to
get to work. I sat down and did some thought journaling, ran some models and
emerged with a new thought: tomorrow is a new day.
NOW IS THE BEST TIME TO DO THE WORK
I tell you all of this so that if you’re about to lose your shit, or maybe already have, it’s ok. Forgive yourself. Find compassion. Know that tomorrow is a new day and you don’t have to spend this entire quarantine stressed, angry and overwhelmed. I get it, and I can help.
I am committed to doubling down on my own self work and helping others do the same. I have increased the amount of free 30-minute coaching sessions that I usually offer. Book a session and come vent, sort through your thoughts, and learn how to use this as an opportunity to get stronger by managing your mind around doing hard things. This is our time to reset and grow.
Book your free session here >>> https://schedulelindsayshortcoaching.as.me/minisession
