Yesterday I lost my shit. I let the quarantine get to me. I was trying to make a phone call and my kids would not stop fighting. I could have helped them work through their fight. I could have paused to breathe before overreacting. Instead, I just screamed and stomped my feet. I yelled so loudly that my throat burned with shame for hours after.
A SHAME SPIRAL
My youngest immediately crumpled into a pile of tears because mommy doesn’t usually act like a 3-year-old melting down after a sugar-filled birthday party. Seeing the fear in his face broke my heart. Even though we had a nice family talk after about stress and frustration during these times of transition, I didn’t release the shame and guilt.
I’m a life coach and stress management expert. I know better. I rode my shame spiral through a sea of wine and enough nachos to feed a family of five. I could feel my brain wanting to go into panic by entering the land of what ifs. What if I can’t get it together? What if I spend the rest of quarantine as a rage-filled nacho eating monster? What if I’m a terrible mom? What if I lose my mind?
FINDING CALM AMDIST THE CHAOS
The old me would have believed these stories. She would have stayed in victim mode, spewing complaints laced with sarcasm about the woes of homeschooling and trying to run a business from home. But this time something magical happened. The new me (who knows how to manage my mind) somehow broke through the mounds of shame and guilt and was able to analyze the situation from a calm, neutral space.
So I lost my shit – who cares? I am human. This tantrum doesn’t have to mean anything about the rest of our time at home. Instead of looking at it as foreshadowing of what’s to come, I was able to see it as a signal that it’s time for me to get to work. I sat down and did some thought journaling, ran some models and emerged with a new thought: tomorrow is a new day.
NOW IS THE BEST TIME TO DO THE WORK
I tell you all of this so that if you’re about to lose your shit, or maybe already have, it’s ok. Forgive yourself. Find compassion. Know that tomorrow is a new day and you don’t have to spend this entire quarantine stressed, angry and overwhelmed. I get it, and I can help.
I am committed to doubling down on my own self work and helping others do the same. I have increased the amount of free 30-minute coaching sessions that I usually offer. Book a session and come vent, sort through your thoughts, and learn how to use this as an opportunity to get stronger by managing your mind around doing hard things. This is our time to reset and grow.
Book your free session here >>> https://schedulelindsayshortcoaching.as.me/minisession
