Where Does Happiness Come From?
What would make you the happiest version of yourself? Whenever I ask my clients this question, they usually respond with something external like more money, being skinny, having a husband (or maybe wishing for a different one). That’s because they’re buying into the trap that we need to seek happiness outside of ourselves.
The truth is that happiness comes from within. All feelings are created by our thoughts, not our circumstances. It’s not surprising that most people confuse the two because we’ve been conditioned from a young age to believe that buying a certain product, losing weight or finding the right man or perfect job will make you happy. It’s simply not true.
I can already tell that some of you will read this and not agree. You will look to your past for examples of times when changing something outside of yourself made you truly happy. Perhaps you were struggling financially and asked for a raise a work. When you got the raise, you were ecstatic. But it’s not the raise itself that made you happy, it was the thought that you finally wouldn’t have to worry about money.
Money itself doesn’t have the power to control your emotions. It’s completely neutral. You had a thought about it that generated your excitement. Why is this distinction so important? If you had negative thought patterns before your raise, they won’t magically disappear when you get more money. This is exactly why most lottery winners end up miserable. They think money will solve all their problems, but then they realize it’s not true. Money doesn’t make you happy. Your thoughts do.
Think Yourself Happy
It sounds so simple that thinking happy thoughts can make you happy, but here’s the kicker: you must believe the thoughts. If you think you are fat, you can’t just tell yourself you’re the perfect size and instantly be happy. This isn’t a fake ‘til you make it scenario. You’re not going to automatically go from thinking you are fat to loving your body. You have to believe it.
When I first learned this concept, it made sense but felt impossible. I can create my own happiness by thinking happy thoughts, but how am I supposed to believe them? Then through life coaching I learned how to cultivate self-awareness, manage my mind and start to truly believe on purpose. It changed everything.
